


Before You See Me Cry

by hobbleit



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcoholism, Break Up, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbleit/pseuds/hobbleit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire's drinking tears him and Enjolras apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before You See Me Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the mood to write some angst so I went for a good old fashioned breakup fic. Don't kill me. The title comes from Go Now by The Moody Blues.

"Please go," Enjolras pleaded; his voice was quiet and full of sadness. All the fight had left him long ago and now he was simply sat on the sofa staring at the man he had once loved. It was if he didn't know him anymore, the man he had shared so much with had been replaced with a complete stranger. He didn't recognise him in the slightest. He looked different; his facial features had changed somehow even though to the untrained eye he was exactly the same. He sounded different even though he talked as he always had.

"Don't, please," Grantaire begged. "We can make this work just please give me one more chance."

"I have given you plenty of chances and you have screwed up every single one. I asked you to quit drinking and you're drunk now."

"I tried but it's too hard, I wanted to stop so much for you but I couldn't."

"I didn't want you to stop for me I wanted you to stop drinking for you but you obviously don't want to so there's nothing else to do but for you to leave. I need you to go, I can't do this anymore."

"What? How can you say that?"

"I just can't. I can't sit here day after day and pray to god that you come home after you've been out all night drinking. Every time the phone rings I feel my stomach drop because I immediately think that it's the hospital calling to tell me that you've been found dead in the gutter or that every time there's a knock on the door it's the police to tell me you've been arrested for getting into a fight with someone. I am so tired of all this shit, I just want it all to stop."

Enjolras stood up and walked into the kitchen, leaning heavily against the counter, his head bowed. "Do you love me?" He asked softly.

"I will always love you," Grantaire told him, unsure as to where this was going. He couldn't help but stare at the god in front of him. He was the most beautiful man he had ever seen even when he was upset. He was so still, much like the marble statue that Grantaire had compared him to on many occasions.

"Then please leave," Enjolras begged. He sounded so tired, so weak; like all he fight that imbued every single inch of his person had just left him. "If you love me then please just go."

"I don't want to leave, I don't want us to end like this. Please, just give me one more chance."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because if you stay then I'm going to forgive you and then you're going to promise me that you'll stop drinking and that'll last for a few weeks until you find it too hard and you'll start drinking again and then we'll be in the exact same position that we're in right now. We're going round in circles and it's not doing either of us any good. You need help," Enjolras felt the tears form in his eyes but he didn't make any attempt to brush them away. "You need to get help to stop drinking and I'm not that person. I'm your weakness and I can't help you anymore."

Grantaire reached out and rested his hand on Enjolras' shoulder. Enjolras pushed him away. "I'll get help, I promise I will but please don't let this be the end."

"You won't get better without me."

"I will, I can't do his without you."

"You can because you're going to have to. I'm sorry but it's over."

Enjolras pushed past Grantaire. He just needed to get away. He needed to be on his own so he could breathe again. He felt constricted and smothered and he couldn't think straight. He just needed to think straight, just for one moment. He slammed the door of the bedroom shut and collapsed to the floor.

He could hear Grantaire sniffling outside the door but he couldn't move. He felt exhausted. Every part of his body ached with a sadness that wouldn't shift no matter how much he wanted it to. He loved Grantaire, he really did, but he really couldn't do it anymore. The fight had left him leaving the shell of a man that just wanted peace. He couldn't hear Grantaire's begging anymore because he knew that if he did then he would break and give him another chance. He had tried being sincere, he had pleaded with Grantaire to leave and get help but nothing had worked. He didn't want to have to be nasty but he had the sinking feeling that he would have to be.

Enjolras steeled his nerves one last time and stood up. He rubbed the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and took a deep breath. Opening the door he found Grantaire on the other side.

His eyes were red and puffy and his bottom lip was trembling. Enjolras knew it was going to be harder than he realised. He didn't want Grantaire out of his life, he wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms and hold him until the pain went away but he knew that it never would. As long as Grantaire kept drinking they could never be truly happy.

They had been happy once upon a time at the beginning when they first met and everything had been sunny and full of love. Those days were long gone and had been replaced by fighting and arguing and going to bed and sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. Sex had dried up long before and they barely even spoke when they weren't tearing each other to pieces. 

"I don't love you anymore," it physically hurt Enjolras to say the words but he knew that he had to say them. It was the only way.

"What?" The words seemed to take Grantaire by surprise and a shocked look appeared on his face. "You don't love me anymore?" He repeated. "When did this happen?"

"I've been feeling like that for a while," he lied. "I've never liked your drinking but it's got to the point where the drinking has become you and I can't love you when you're drunk."

"Then I'll stop, I promise you I will but don't say you don't love me."

"I can't do this anymore, I told you. I don't love you and I don't want to be with you anymore. I want you to leave."

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll go," Grantaire sounded completely defeated, the drunken slur that had permeated every word he had spoken since he had come home was gone and a broken whimper was left in its place. 

"Thank you," Enjolras said quietly and collapsed on the couch. He sat and watched silently as Grantaire packed up some of his things.

"You know that I'll always love you but you're going to regret this," Grantaire said as he left.

Enjolras knew that he was right. He already regretted it and Grantaire had only been gone a matter of seconds. He wanted to fling the door open and beg him to return but he knew he couldn't. Instead he sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the empty space where Grantaire had once occupied.

The room seemed emptier without Grantaire's presence, the silence weighing heavy on his mind. "I'll always love you," he whispered quietly in the darkness and prayed that the pain would soon disappear.


End file.
